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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?